The thing about Limericks is this:

If you get words that rhyme you can’t miss

But make doubly sure

Your rhythm’s secure

And use the correct emphasis.


A lazy young owl named Chou

One winter had nothing to do.

His mum, in a state,

Said, “Go and get a nice mate.”

He replied, “It’s too wet to woo.”



There was a rich widow called Ruth

Who had an obsession with youth.

Her suitors were many

But I don’t think any

Had the maturity to tell her the truth.



It was raining and a husband from Woking

With his au pair went out. They got soaking.

He said, “Now away from my wife

Give me your kiss of life.”

She slapped him saying, “You must be choking!”




If your money was measured in trillions

The world’s population in billions

It would only just dent

Your wealth if you sent

Each village a handful of millions.



People say that faith’s most unscientific

Faith in God, they mean, being more specific.

But evolution’s a thing

To which some scientists cling

With a faith that is blindly terrific.